The sensitive, wonderful, traumatic, loving and “what the hell is going on?” time when your partner works as a Mariner.
A post of this subject could go on and on, it could have a few different tones, and it could possibly cause distress in my marriage if I’m not careful. But we are 4 days into him getting home after 3 months, I’m sitting here with my coffee, exhausted by the night, watching my toddler re discover all his toys for the day and bring me books to read him, and my husband is treating our home like his ship.
(I will bring light humor to this subject today, as even though it’s hard, a bit frustrating, and takes a couple weeks to adjust, it’s who we are and we have been doing it for 10 years).
The vaccume is going, not just half ass, the extension tube is out and if it could scrub our already pretty clean floor, that’s what it’s doing right now. Laundry piles are being made right in front of me, washer and dryer are now running, the piles staring at me as to say “good early morning to you friend, your day is already drawn out for you”
My husband is a big music person.Not to say I don’t like music, but he listens to music continueously and if he’s not listening to music he’s watching a video or playing a game with music. I like moments of silence and waking up in the world at a somewhat of a peaceful pace.
That being said yes, during all this he music is going. Upbeat energetic get you moving music. He’s dusting (guess I missed a spot), dishes are being scrubbed with a vengeance, toys are being picked up(again), then all of the sudden he stops. He sits down with coffee and his iPad and will be here until 1pm until he decides he needs to get up and run around again. “Where is this? What happened to that? Why is the cheese grater in this cabinet? Do we have any sponges? Why don’t we have windex? Why don’t we have any snacks?” Guess I’ll go to the store and reorganize everything today. And get to the piles of course.
It’s not that I’m not greatful for him helping. I know a lot of women would say their partners don’t even touch the vaccume. But right when you wake up? The adjustment from ship to home time is entertaining to say the least. This will go on for a couple weeks and then change.
Now for sex.
You would think after 3 months of being away there would be no issue. But as a woman taking care of a 16 month old alone day in and day out (thank god for family) and being the communicator that I am and also need… I don’t get that support and acknowledgement for 3 months and then all the sudden it’s hitting me with a globe and knocking me into another world overnight. I feel like yes, I can have sex right away of course. But then after that I need to be dated again. Who are we? People change in 3 months but sometimes after you have been together with someone for so long it seems the expectation is that you never change. Sex is just sex until the time is taken to be made into love again. I wish I knew other people in this situation so we could laugh about it together.
It’s now 930am. It’s late. I will drink another cup of coffee but will contemplate cheesecake and scotch.